American Cheese Real Name: Darren Honcho History: For most of his life, Darren Honcho led a lackluster existence. His interest in professional wrestling led him to pursure collegiate wrestling in high school, though he never achieved any level of success with it. The limit of his ambition managed to stay contained to employment with a local 7-11, where after many years of service he was promoted up to night manager (though most argue this was less about ambition and more related to his sloth pursuit of a new job). This all changed after Darren became delirious from fatigue and hunger at around 4 AM while working his third consecutive 8-hour shift after working a double the day before when two workers had suddenly quit. Bored and hungry, Darren proceeded to mindlessly eat over 16 boxes of individually-wrapped Kraft American Cheese, his favorite food from childhood. Little did he know this act of hunger and boredom would change his life forever. Darren's fatigue prevented him from noticing the subtle tingling building in his stomach with each slice. By the time he had finished the last box on the shelf, his skin had turned a sickly yellow and he passed out on the floor. Concerned customers called EMS and he was rushed to the hospital. After a brief stay he regained consciousness and found his entire body had been transformed into living yellow plastic. By will alone, he could elongate and distort his body and cause himself to float on air. His new skin was flexible and resistant to harm. Additionally, his muscles and reflexes had increased dramatically, enabling him to perform amazing feats of speed and strength. For the first time in ever, Darren felt like there was a purpose to his life. Upon hearing of the incident, Mr. Terrance Kobi, a representative from Kraft Foods Inc, quickly met with Darren in his hospital room. Investigation into the incident revealed that Darren had overdosed on a batch of Kraft American Cheese that had somehow become radioactive, expanding its plastic qualities. The injestion of the cheese caused a change in Darren's physiology, transforming him into the same sort of mutated plastic the cheese is made from. Despite the extreme nature of the ignorance required to undergo such a mishap, the Kraft Foods representatives felt it would be best to settle with Mr. Honcho rather than be lose in court. Picking up on Darren's interest in his new state, Mr. Kobi came up with an idea. Rather than offering Darren a substantial cash settlement, he offered him a job as a Kraft Foods sponsored superhero. Details of the incident were concealed to protect Kraft Food Inc, and within two weeks they unveiled their very own superhero: American Cheese! Darren took to his new life as American Cheese, representing both America and Kraft Foods Inc as he crusades to do away with un-American beliefs wherever it lurks. Immediately the public responded and became enamored with American Cheese. His exploits as both a spokeman and as a crimefighter quickly earned him celebrity status, and like the professional wrestlers he idolized his whole life, his life revolved around his costumed identity. Right from his first press conference, local award-winning liberal report Vanessa Gardner became secretly enamored with American Cheese, though she maintained a professional criticism of his blindly pro-American political views (see Vanguard). The two have had multiple verbal sparring matches in both the public and private arena, and more than once their paths have crossed in pursuit of justice. American Cheese naturally suspects that Ms. Gardner's interest in him is more than professional, yet his subsequent sexual harrassment of her, while publically known, has not tarnished his reputation as an all-American superhero. Most view them as a cute couple, and suspect Ms. Gardner has already sampled some of American Cheese's "American Know-how". American Cheese has established himself as a noteworthy superhero, defending his native Motor City from threats both small and large. Much of his time is taken up with public appearances, and often times he will hold a press conference to promote his exploits. Despite his desire for popularity, American Cheese stays focused on the task at hand, never losing sight of the ultimate goal of providing a safe, democratic, consumer state where all Americans can prosper. Personality: Pleasent yet somewhat overbearing, American Cheese is considered obnoxious by many of his superpowered peers. Though truly not an idiot, American Cheese's blind support of American plitics and culture tend to make him seem nieve and arrogant. Nonetheless, his concern for the well-being of his comrades in arms is geniune, and he's gladly stick his neck out to save another's life. Time has seasoned his skills somewhat, and evolved him into a first-class professional superhero. He enjoys all the attention he gets from the public, and always takes time to sign autographs and rescue cats. As he has encountered more and more villians, American Cheese become more serious about the state of the world, but doesn't let the grim truths of reality get in the way of his winning smile. 
Height: variable, usually 6'2" Strength Level: American Cheese possesses superhuman strength enabling him to lift (press) roughly 2 tons. In extreme circumstances, American Cheese has demonstrated the capacity to lift (press) as much as 10 tons. Superhuman Powers: The entirely of American Cheese's body is composed of a durable, light-weight, rubbery plastic capable of sustaining moderate harm without breaking. His musculature and nervous system is more distributed throughout his body, allowing him great feats of strength and speed beyond that of a mortal man as well as hardening his body in general. The rubbery nature of his body also allows him to take much less damage from falls. American Cheese can distort and stretch the mass of his body, though he cannot reduce or enlarge his mass. This enables him to stretch his limbs, allowing him to attack opponents at an extreme distance as well as travel extremely fast by elongating his legs. Additionally, American Cheese can squeeze through nearly any opening, though smaller openings take more extreme effort to pass through. Through some odd interaction of his musculature and the plastic nature of his body, American Chsses can fly using a rudimentary form of levitation, achieving speeds moderately faster than that of a experienced sprinter. The exact nature of this flight ability is not completely understood, but seems to be analogous to staying afloat while swimming and requires similar discipline. Due to the odd nature of his physiology, American Cheese can survive for short periods in extreme temperatures without damage. Likewise, he can also survive underwater or int he vacuum of space for a brief duration. Additionally, American Cheese is able to survive for a couple of days without food or water. Because of the artificial nature of his metabolism, American Cheese gains little nutritional value from most foods, he is capable of thriving on american cheese alone. Oddly, his body has gained the ability to process plastics and rubbers, and he frequently finds such materials nurishing, if not very satisfying. Other Abilities: Training funded by Kraft Foods Inc has augmented American Cheese's basic wrestling proficiency to expert levels. Additionally, American Cheese was permitted to train with a Navy SEAL team in infiltration. Coupled with his ability to alter his shape, this training has given American Cheese impressive stealth skills, allowing him to enter nearly any compound undetected. American Cheese has also taken crash courses in stunt driving and piloting, which, augmented with his superhuman reflexes, enables him a good degree of control over vehicles in non-combat situations. Weapons and Paraphernalia: Kraft Foods Inc has furnished American Cheese with a variety of gear for use in his crimefighting. Given his flexible nature, all of the gear is small in size and malleable in design as to not interfere with American Cheese's actions. In addition to a wide variety of minaturized communication and utility equipment, American Cheese has a selection of signature gear: Cheese-ITS: Individual Transmitting Signalers (ITS), these small slabs of sticky plastic have a nano-beacon enabling American Cheese to follow his targets at a distance of up to 500 miles using his modified GPS Receiver.Additionally, American Cheese carries a variety of gear useful for infiltration and espionage: Advanced PDA Cell Phone: Nicknamed "Veronica", the phone has a full keyboard, Bluetooth and Internet capabilities, as well as a quality camera and an audio recorder.American Cheese's costume is extremely tear-resistant and able to stretch to extreme lengths without wear. Additionally, American Cheese uses a utility belt for storage of his equipment. This belt is also made of the same tear-resistant material and is able to flex and adjust to a high degree when he flattens or moves through small openings. Transportation: Typically, American Cheese prefers to fly while crimefighting, though he has been known to use a variety of reinforced vehicles (branded with Kraft Foods Inc and American Cheese) to travel larger distances. |